What NOT to say when a pet dies…
Here is an EXAMPLE of a message you could write on a sympathy card to someone who has lost a pet:
"Sending you love and comfort during this difficult time. [Pet's name] brought so much joy into your life, and I know how deeply they will be missed. May the happy memories you shared together bring you peace. Rest in gentle peace, [Pet's name]."
Losing a beloved pet can be an incredibly painful experience, and knowing what to say—or what not to say—to someone who is grieving can be challenging. In this blog, we’ll explore some of the common phrases that, while well-intentioned, may unintentionally cause hurt, as well as some thoughtful and compassionate alternatives that can provide comfort and support during such a difficult time. Whether you're offering condolences or simply wanting to be there for a friend or family member, understanding how to approach the conversation can make all the difference.
"It was just a pet."
Even though pets are not humans, they hold a very special place in a person's heart. Suggesting that the loss is insignificant can be hurtful and dismissive.
"You can just get another one."
While getting another pet in the future may be an option, it's important to acknowledge that this pet is unique and special to the person who lost them. Suggesting that they can easily replace their pet can be insensitive and hurtful.
"They're in a better place now."
While it's common to believe that pets go to a "better place" after they pass away, this may not provide comfort to the person who is grieving. Instead, focus on acknowledging their pain and offering support.
"At least they're not suffering anymore."
While it's true that the pet may no longer be in pain, this statement may come across as insensitive and dismissive of the person's feelings.
"I know how you feel."
While it may be tempting to try to relate to the person's experience, it's important to acknowledge that everyone's grief is unique. Instead, offer your support and listen to their feelings without judgment.
Better things to say instead…
"I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how much [pet's name] means to you."
Pets may not be human, but they hold a unique and irreplaceable place in our hearts. Acknowledging the deep bond someone has with their pet and expressing sympathy for their loss shows that you understand and respect their grief.
"It's okay to feel this way. Losing a pet is losing a family member."
Grieving the loss of a pet is just as valid as grieving the loss of any other loved one. By reassuring them that their feelings are normal, you help them feel understood and supported during their time of sadness.
"If you need to talk or share memories of [pet's name], I'm here for you."
Sometimes, offering a listening ear is the best way to show support. Letting them know you’re available to hear about their memories and feelings creates a safe space for them to express their grief without fear of judgment.
"Remembering all the joy and love [pet's name] brought into your life can help you through this difficult time."
Encouraging them to focus on the happy moments they shared with their pet can provide comfort and help them find some peace. It’s a gentle way to remind them of the positive impact their pet has on their life.
"Take all the time you need to grieve. There's no rush to 'move on' from this."
Grief is a personal journey, and there’s no timeline for when someone should feel better. Reassuring them that it’s okay to take their time to heal honours their process and helps them feel supported without pressure to “move on.”